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In the Month of Love, I'll take a Heart Cappuccino Over Internet Dating😍

Updated: Feb 17


A cappuccino with a heart made by a kind and artistic barista is a Valentine gift in itself. Valentine's Day can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Me included. Not everyone has a loving mate to acknowledge them on❤️Day. In fact, holidays in general, can be triggering for those of us without a partner or family. It can highlight our loneliness. What I've noticed is that more women friends are exchanging Valentine messages, which has become a real thing and named, 'Galentine's' Day. I love it and I think it's a sweet and an even important

gesture.


We live in a time where everything is online, including dating. My personal take in my personal blog is that I've never found it to be a natural flow, not to mention an odd endeavor. It makes me wonder how a smorgasbord of options in the pursuit of finding love to be significantly successful. In that, I mean, there's a generalized lack of chutzpah (from 9 out of the 10 men I've encountered) to rise to the challenge of focusing on one person and initiate a way to step out of the internet and connect in-person. It's lazy and far from intriguing. Gentlemen, there's something to be said for effort and stepping up-to-the-plate for a woman. The mind-numbing message exchange doesn't seem to allow for much mystery, romance, and courtship. I may come off as old school or old fashioned but I'm one of those hopeless romantics and prefer something more dignified. I'd turn to a book of love poems any day over a tedious internet search for a mate.


That said, I've embarked on the bumble dating site but nothing real has ever come of it. Internet dating has been successful for some couples but less so these days. Bill Maher did an entire segment on the saturation of internet dating decreasing the chances for true love. He poses the question on what has happened to the men of his generation. He stated that they seem to lack the ability to approach women with confidence and talking to them in an engaging way to attract them into a relationship . He also makes the point of connecting with someone naturally... as in offline. Very interesting segment. But when you live in a resort town where the chances of meeting someone depends on them dropping out of a plane or off a cruise ship, it ain't so easy.


In the meantime, wherever we are in life and love, letting someone you know (whether family, mate, or friend) any day of the week is a wonderful way to show you care. It doesn't have to be on a holiday or to show your love on a day like Valentine's Day but surprise someone with a sweet note.

Snail mail is still appreciated. I love receiving cards in the post box. Everyone is thrilled to receive a personal card vs solicitations. Let's face it, there's a lot of darkness in the world so wherever you can shine a bright spot, do so.


A Few Love Poems for You


Love’s Philosophy


The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion; Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

in one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?—


See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

Percy Bysshe Shelley~

Touched By An Angel

We, unaccustomed to courage

exiles from delight

live coiled in shells of loneliness

until love leaves its high holy temple

and comes into our sight

to liberate us into life.


Love arrives

and in its train come ecstasies

old memories of pleasure

ancient histories of pain.

Yet if we are bold,

love strikes away the chains of fear

from our souls.


We are weaned from our timidity

In the flush of love’s light

we dare be brave

And suddenly we see

that love costs all we are

and will ever be.

Yet it is only love

which sets us free.


Maya Angelou~

Lace and Heels

Wrestling with a restless mind and

Contemplating soft yoga pants or to wear

Classy cocktail attire and sense the

Isolation slipping away, as if brave

To venture out in a dress and stockings

Without the casual comfort but of

A taller version of me in night-black

Heels and extravagant underthings in lace.


(Note: above is a Golden Shovel poem I wrote in a city college poetry class where you are challenged to use a line from lyrics as the last word in each line of what you create. Looking above at last word is each sentence = And wear the brave stockings of night-black lace.


Valerie Anne Burns~

Wishing you a happy month of love. And please seek ways in which to honor and show love for Black History Month. Show support for black artists in any or all mediums. It's especially important to read the works of black authors, supporting all books and history as it truly is. Too many people have lost their minds in this country banning books and history in education. Truth is the only way. Lying has somehow become the norm. Fear and idiocy is behind this with its crazy political agenda. For decades, I've heard that everything is a choice between love and fear. Let's choose love just as Maya Angelou writes in her poem posted above.


P.S.--January was a notably challenging and even heart wrenching month for me so I was remiss in getting a blog out. I hope February makes up for it. Thank you for reading my work. I'm fortunate to have good friends and my therapy cat, Lucia to help me through difficulty. Lucia has a perfect heart marking that says everything!



Keep on swimming through life,

Valerie Anne





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3 Comments


Movies like Jerry Maguire with the line "you complete me" convey that we are not a whole person without a mate. I find it so annoying!

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Jim Blake
Jim Blake
Feb 22

Beautiful poems by all ! RE: online dating. Online dating has a built-in failure mechanism in that it absolves a man from risking much. A man risks 1,000 % more in a 3-D encounter with a woman in a bookstore, library or grocery store than in an online chat. Where there is no risk and no fear there is no thrill , no frisson- it's all too easy. Every (say 95%) online link-up (coffee, glass of wine, whatever) begins as a wet noodle agreement virtually impossible to transcend. Any romantic connection is built on a foundation of unstable, mooshy substance without pheromones, without 1,000 sensations one gets from a person in real life. Computer dating is like Wyndam Hi…

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I’m glad we can celebrate our friendship on what used to be a holiday that often excluded us. And I agree about on-line dating. I need those in-person pheromones!

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